"When I am anxious."
She stops and rearranges her foot so that she can hold it with both hands.
"When. My heart beats very hard."
I nod warmly, feeling that I can understand, "Trying to beat its way out?"
She stares at me and sort of smiles. I think she meant for me to say that to her.
"No. The beat gets louder and tries to pull my body in, like my pulse has gravity." She makes a fist around her toes, "I would like to draw a picture where an embryo develops heart first." Her ankle rotates, the bones sharp even though she has gained weight again, "Not sentimentally."
We wait together for twenty minutes after that. I know her better, and I can know when she wants me to ask her questions - I should be more careful I'm told. With her or myself? No one has said.
She does not draw anything, but falls asleep instead. Waking and unmaking steadily.
She stops and rearranges her foot so that she can hold it with both hands.
"When. My heart beats very hard."
I nod warmly, feeling that I can understand, "Trying to beat its way out?"
She stares at me and sort of smiles. I think she meant for me to say that to her.
"No. The beat gets louder and tries to pull my body in, like my pulse has gravity." She makes a fist around her toes, "I would like to draw a picture where an embryo develops heart first." Her ankle rotates, the bones sharp even though she has gained weight again, "Not sentimentally."
We wait together for twenty minutes after that. I know her better, and I can know when she wants me to ask her questions - I should be more careful I'm told. With her or myself? No one has said.
She does not draw anything, but falls asleep instead. Waking and unmaking steadily.
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